The Good, The Bad & The Chairs

Like Mentos & Diet Coke, electric appliances & bathtubs, water & oil... some things just don’t mix. The questions is: Can any one of these combinations coexist in a perfect world? Your answer is: Yes, Lava lamps and Sitmatic.
Here at Sitmatic we have developed the perfect balance of lovable, righteous beings and the cold, heartless gargoyles we call management to provide excellence in ergonomic seating and customer support.
Anyone who has called our office has undoubtedly experienced our unmatched customer support. However, a handful know what a conversation with Sitmatic management is like (no picnic). They are a rare breed. For example: Paul Makielski (President) has had his heart surgically replaced with what he calls "a babe magnet" which he believes gives him superhuman powers to slay any man, woman or beast. Legend has it Derek Ellington (VP) is a top-secret government experiment gone horribly wrong. Can you say El Chupacabra? Let’s not get started with Gabe Muniz (Staff Manager), possibly the meanest one of all, punishes the restroom with no mercy for hours at a time. Courtesy flush? I don't think so.
I would love to move up "the ladder" in this company, but is it worth losing my heart? No more pillow talk? No more spooning with Scott Sprankle? No more romantic comedies? Love or Chairs? Galaxies are colliding! Is this the end of Sensitive Mark?! WWJD?