Speedy Orlando tears a hole in the fabric… of Space-Time!

Our production manager Orlando Moya is turning orders into chairs so fast that customers are actually receiving their chairs before they are ordered. That has us at a lead-time of negative one days. Impossible you say? Today’s leading physicists are flocking to Fullerton, CA to witness this incredible phenomenon. I know what you’re thinking, if the chair arrives the day before the order is placed, why place the order at all? To explain, we have a prepared statement from the father of quantum mechanics himself, Stephen Hawking:

A chair ordered from Sitmatic today and arriving yesterday can be explained in two ways. The first is much more complicated than the latter, let us discuss thusly. The assumption that an order can traverse the fabric of space-time is dependent upon first placing that order, even through you may be sitting in the very chair you are ordering. This can be explained through the existence of Anti-Orders, or, as they say in the furniture business… cancellations. These Anti-Orders are so permeable they slip backwards in time creating a gravitationally void bending the linear stream of Time upon itself and making this quantum delivery possible. Without Anti-Orders, a time warped Order can not exist; it is crucial to place the said Order so we don’t create a tear in the space-time continuum. The second way to explain this is a constant simply known as… clerical error.

So from us at Sitmatic SMFC, Keep those orders coming, our very existence may depend upon it.